You Give Me The Reason

Work is a waste of life

2007-04-09T05:57:22Z

I have been busy with paper work and wet work recently. Your paychecks are in the mail, as are your tax forms, unless you are working 'under the table' in which case you know who you are and where to find the money. Please no one tell me that they've forgotten their personal identification numbers, not unless they feel a particular need for an unexpected and painful surigical sterilization.

As for the wet work, I feel a need to check in. It does not usually happen that I feel overwhelmed, but the tax season is upon us and the target is fleeing people out for his death and his taxes. Funny thing that. My fear is not that I missed an objective, but that I might have taken someone elses in their stead. It is easy for me to forget that an objective is yours and not mine. I admit this kind of work is relaxing in comparison to desk work.

The Nelson clan suffered from a severely gruesome series of murder homocides. Councilman Rietmillen's death was deemed a suicide despite my sincere efforts to make it look like autoerotic axphisiation. The tabloids have picked up on it though, so I suppose I will not let the coroner's report weight too heavily on me. Six water barons have been replaced by their more maleable heirs. And no one has yet found the second column of the Young Shields, but I'm sure my human sculpture will be quite spectacular... If anyone ever does find it. Perhaps I will send someone to point the first column in the right direction. There's no point in making a human tree as a warning to others if others do not find it.

To those of you that might consider yourselves 'friends' I am growing weary of this work. Are any of your free this evening?

((Take him home! He's wasted! Yay~!))

2006-11-06T09:01:09Z

I think I may be rather intoxicated actually. I certainly have been talkative...

Knives-sama? Do you think I'm getting fat?

Because really, I know I eat a lot, but I can change that. I would change that for Your sake. Anything-- Of course this is silly you already know that.

I always figured that it was just Elendira being her ridiculous self, but if I am becoming hideously bloated You really ought to tell me. I already feel so utterly insignificant in comparison to your amazing beauty especially when you wear those pants that I would do anything in order to be just slight less unsavory before your eyes.

((OOC: Come by and poke him anytime and you'll get a nice drunken!Legato response. :Db? This is my way of making it up to those of you that missed the real time intoxication. Also, I like rambling.))

loyaltyblue @ 2006-10-30T00:37:00

2006-10-30T00:41:01Z

Elendira, I believe you are seriously underestimating my tolerance of ridiculous things associated with you, your behavior, and your peculiar sense of what consitutes humor.

I hope you enjoy the nice little tricks I'll have your crew play on you. Also, the thought that I am ordering pizza without you.

Master, I apologize for the superficial nature of this posting, but it was necessary.

loyaltyblue @ 2006-10-27T02:48:00

2006-10-27T06:52:30Z

When we dwell on the past we accomplish nothing for the future. Death, oblivion, whatever awaits us all. It will be better than this moment and this moment is better than the one that preceded it.

I never want to feel as if I died in the next moment I would be disatisfied with this moment or with myself. Shame, sorrow, suffering, these are all parts of existence, but they cannot eradicate even simple pleasures. Today the past has dwelled on me like a physical weight and I refuse to allow myself to be burdened by it anymore than is neccesary.

In the face of my current life, all is meaningless and it cannot touch me where I stand. It isn't even about trinkets or baser pleasures, though such things are easily accessable, it is about pursuing the things you value, the people and the ideals that you believe in. Never be blind or ignorant of your place, your power, your wants, or the pain that life has caused you, will cause you.

But happiness is not, I think, an impossibility; and if it is, there is always pride, honor, loyalty. In comparison the past matters very little.

On an unrelated note, the taquitos are mine and are not for public consumption. Dire consequences will befall anyone who touches them. I will find out. Your suffering will be long.

===

He's always got a lot on his mind, but somehow it feels like more. He suspects Elendira of being seriously up to something, which she usually is, but from all that he can figure, she's aiming to blackmail him. He always suspected that she might someday and he feels as if something is going to come of his paranoia... and soon.

He'll be awake tonight and thinking, trying to keep himself mentally fortified against anything that could come at him. Killing all those people tonight, that helped. But he's going to be thinking of that waiter, who probably doesn't deserve to horror he'll have to live with now. As sympathetic as he wants to be towards him, he can't help but feel apathetic and even angry at this random person who he imagines is probably somewhere crying in the desert.

And while he enjoys spending time with Elendira, as much as he enjoys spending time with anyone who isn't Knives, he doesn't like alcohol and she does. He indulges her, but then when she's drunk and showing all her weakness and flirting with him like that. He knew people like that, will always know people like that and he feels a deep abiding sympathy with them. They also scare him.

Women and children, you protect them, you offer them condolance, in this world they become victims and are crushed under the weight of an angry race of men. Elendira, when she's drunk, is so much weaker and softer and it's difficult to think of her as as close to his equal as they come, as a strong and capable person. She becomes a woman to him and his instinct is to protect and comfort her, but of course this is Elendira who should be beyond such things as gender and weakness. It's difficult to hold two such conflicting ideas in his head at the same time.

Anyways, even if he doesn't sleep, which he won't, he's tired and he doesn't enjoy socialization or the smell of dried alcohol.

loyaltyblue @ 2006-10-25T21:14:00

2006-10-26T01:32:08Z

I have but one purpose in life, to bring Vash the Stampede eternal suffering. This is the source of my greatest happiness, a joy that resonates to the bottom of my mortal soul. I strive always to devote my every breathing moment to this purpose and to pleasing my master.

I do not yet know how the burgers at Zack's fit into all this, but I hope they do. If that had been my last meal, I would be satisfied.